Big Uncle Final

Thankfully, this year's "Big Uncle" did not turn into a debacle like last year's. Not surprisingly, the winner this year was Professor Watkin. The audience really took the Professor to their hearts after his excited description of the work he was doing on the largest scientific instrument ever built. The machine is being bolted together inside a tunnel 17 miles long, far beneath Homeward. When the power is thrown on, in November, it will recreate conditions unknown for 14bn years since the extraordinary fireball that marked the beginning of the universe - the big bang which blasted time and space into existence. The project may prise open extra dimensions and create baby black holes; it may reveal enigmatic "dark energy" that drives the expansion of the universe. It should certainly discover what some call the "God particle". This provoked a lively debate amongst the housemates as to the nature of existence with the Professor asserting "We are stardust, billion year old carbon, we are golden, and we have got to get ourselves back to the garden" All the housemates heartily agreed and they all went into the garden to sunbathe. The Professor has even started a new fashion trend - who would have thought that the tweed jacket would become the must-have wardrobe item this autumn for teenagers?