News of Badfort to close

Beaver Hateman, Chief Executive of Badfort News International, has declared that the Badfort News Sunday sister paper, News of Badfort, is to close.

As I reported, two years ago, he is now admitting that hacking was rife at the organisation.

In a statement he declared "It was all Jellytussle's fault and I knew nuffink about it - nor did my dear friend, its chief editor, Hitmouse. He is also completely innocent and just thought Jellytussle had found the telephone numbers in a bin.

We have stuffed Jellytussle in a tin can until he tells us which of the Badgertown police he bribed and then we will give him a good slapping !

We apologise to everyone about what we did and promise we won't do it again in our new Sunday paper "Badfort News on Sunday" - but we got some brill scandal on Unc wot we found going thru his trash cans !"

Nothing changes.