Olympic Trials

As you know, because the IOC is such a specist organisation and will not allow animals to take part in their Olympics, we hold our own Olympics here at Homeward and Badgertown.

However, putting the King of the Badgers in charge of organising the event has proved to be something of a trial.

He has upset the dwarfs, who live in my many towers, by insisting on placing missiles on top of Lost Clinkers and other tall structures.

"What in, heavens name, do we need these giant missiles for!" I demanded.

"Well," said the Badger King "You never know, we might need to shoot down a rogue Badfort plane!"

"But, they are taking part in the Games!, you fool!" I bellowed.

So, unbelievably, The King of the Badgers then decided to put the Badfort Crowd in charge of security!

"Well," he declared "Better to have your enemies inside the tent..." 

"Humph!" I interrupted "I get the picture."

"Anyway, theirs was the cheapest bid!" he muttered.

What a shambles! A few goats, pigs and beavers in a cart!

 Then there has been the whole fracas over the food being sold at the venues.

The sponsors are harshly enforcing a ban on anybody eating non-sponsorship chips.

Professor Gandleweaver is furious, understandably. Gandleweaver runs the Fishing Frying Academy and has a number of students running fish and chip bars at the venues. He is not allowed to sell his chips on their own, without fish.

He has got into even more trouble over his Olympic Special menu - five interlocking fried Conger eel dyed in the colours of the Olympic rings.

The IOC have complained about this "derogatory" use of their symbol.

Luckily, as I made clear to them, they have no jurisdiction over my domain!