I am an Inspiration

I have received my personal copy of 'The Complete Uncle', just published in the United Kingdom.

What a mighty and excellent tome.

These stories of my life, struggles, and adventures are, of course, well known to me - after all, they happened to me !

But the many eulogies in praise of my great deeds are most gratifying and humbling.

I am quite embarrassed by the praise heaped upon my personage.

To know that I was a guiding light to such luminaries as Mr Self, Mr Gaiman, Ms Summerscale, Mr Riley, Mr Nix, Mr Langford, Mr Pollard, Mr Ingrams, Mr Rowson, Mr Griffiths, and no doubt countless of others, is truly gratifying.

I was somewhat surprised that the Queen, Mr Cameron, Mr Obama, Mr Putin and the King of the Badgers failed to submit their thoughts - considering the assistance I have given them, financially, in the past. I appreciate that they are busy heads of states, but I find it hard to credit the idea that their burden of leadership is greater than mine own. One feels that it would not have taken a great deal of effort to pen a few words of appreciation, but I shall not let such thoughts mar this happy day.

It is wonderful that so many people of influence have acknowledged that they owe their position in society to the lessons that they learnt from me, in their formative years, in regard to the value of good citizenship.

The only criticism I would have is that some of these paeans dwell far too long on some of the regrettable aspects of the books - the modus operandi and behaviour of the Badfort Crowd, for instance.

This was the one flaw I found with the interests of my biographer, Mr J.P.Martin. He would insist on dwelling on their foolish anarchic antics. I notice that his family still insist on maintaining the fiction that my adventures came from his imagination. A great and godly man he was, but clearly my life is not the sort of thing you could just make up !