Hollywood gangs up on me!

It would appear that the whole of Hollywood has been duped by Beaver. They are all convinced by his story of being a slum dog oppressed by a millionaire elephant! Diane Keaton even believes that he will marry her! Of course, we all know what happened with him and Jennifer Aniston and there so-called relationship. They have even agreed to make the film, that he has been punting, of his life story entitled Reds 2 Brad Pitt is keen to play Beaver, a terrible irony for Jennifer - the man who left her is to play the man who fleeced her! The film will be a tissue of lies, and now that my name has been sullied there is no hope that my own biopic will be picked up. This will be a major disappointment to both Stephen Fry and Hugh Grant who were both vying to play me. In other news, Peter Porsche, COE of Badgertown Rock has apologised for the mess that he got the bank into, lending to the likes of Beaver Hateman and causing all this Shanty Town hoo-haa that has erupted. As punishment he has had to give up his car and house and go and live in a tin shack and wear only sack cloth. Just like the people he lent to! There is some justice in this world!