Thursday 16 August 2007

Who could play me?

Well, I must say the Old Monkey is right. News travels fast on this interweb thingy.
Since my last blog I have been inundated with requests to seriously consider allowing a film of my life.

A Mister Hugh Grant's agent has called a number of times extolling the qualities of his client in the role of myself. I must say he certainly has my boyish good looks. I have also been contacted by the agent of a Mister Stephen Fry. No offence to Mister Fry but he would need to lose a little weight to match my svelte figure.



I have also had agents putting forward their clients for other roles.
A Mister Gervais feels that he would be perfect as Beaver Hateman. He has even taken the trouble to dress as him in the photo he has e-mailed. I think that there is quite a likeness, however, I feel he will need a little prosthetic work to completely capture the ugliness of my nemesis.



The agent of a Mister Mayall is sure that his client captures the very essence of Hitmouse and I would have to say that in this picture he does indeed have an uncanny likeness to the reprobates sneering expression.



My only concern with these actors is whether there abilities are up to the job. The Old Monkey informs me that their skills are mostly limited to those of the comedic kind. Mister Gervais's agent tells me that he is very keen to move into dramatic roles, apparently he is always being asked to dance in a silly way that is rather demeaning and longs to show his hidden depths.

Could actors of this ilk really cope with a story of drama and pathos, such as mine ?
Would the audience have the wrong expectations and imagine that there would be a comedic element?

If only David Lean was still alive - for it would need a director of that calibre.

Dear readers, let me know your views - for you would be the audience for this epic.
Any other casting suggestions will be gratefully received.

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