Tuesday, 17 August 2010

Helping the King of the Badgers

The King of the Badgers has asked me to head a Badgertown Town Hall spending review.

I am to identify inefficiencies and savings in Town Hall departments.

For a start, I shall put a stop to the practice of High Tea at 4 o'clock, everyday!

That should save, at least, 2/6d per day on cream buns.

Predictably, the Badfort Crowd have reacted with their usual vitriolic comments.

"He don't even live in Badgertown, or pay taxes there - in fact he don't pay any taxes at all! The King of the Badgers seems to be thrashing around trying to find people who will back up his dodgy plans for the destruction of our public services. What does Unc know about delivering public services on the ground?" said Beaver Hateman.

"We're not wholly surprised that the King of the Badgers has appointed a billionaire, to whom he owes many millions, to say that his cuts, which will devastate services in Badgertown, are 'fair'."

Poppycock! of course, I have wide experience in supplying public services - is it not I who supplies the many dwarfs of Homeward with a cask of herrings, a keg of Turkish Delight and a first-grade cheese every Christmas?

Monday, 2 August 2010

Goodman Infatuation

One of the followers of my blog, Kate, recently commented:

Dear Uncle,
What a delightful find your blog is! I have been a long-time Uncle fan. Would you be so kind as to post a high resolution photo of your dear cat, Goodman, reading so I may have it engraved on my iPhone case? I would be ever-indebted, kind sir.

Your wish is my command - click on the image below for a high resolution version:

I have to say, however, that I find the public's interest in him rather odd. Yes, he is very efficient at dealing with my correspondence and his postal duties - but he is far too talkative and prone to flights of fancy inculcated by a love of cheap fiction!