Monday, 13 May 2013

The Great Fatsby ! - How Rude !

The Old Monkey came in this morning with a copy of that scurrilous rag "The Badfort News".

The headline read "The Great Fatsby Returns" and inside was the usual slanderous gossip one has come to expect from Hitmouse, their chief reporter:

"Uncle arrived back at Homeward airport in his giant blimp yesterday - or should one say the giant blimp returned in his gargantuan airship!

Rumour has it that he was on another of his missions to extract monies from the King of the Badgers in repayment of one of his loans at usurious interest rates."

Typical Badfort lies !

I have to say I was somewhat perplexed as to how the Badfort Crowd had managed to get a photo from high above Homeward.

"If they are able to penetrate our airspace, in this way, they may well be able to infiltrate our defences!" I remarked to the Old Monkey.

It was not long before we had an answer.

We were all sitting on the terrace, having elevenses of cocoa and bananas, when Goodman appeared carrying a pigeon in his mouth.

"Caught him snooping around, Sir,!" he mumbled.

The said pigeon had a camera strapped to his chest. We interrogated him, and soon discovered that he was in the employ of Hitmouse.

"He pays me peanuts." he squawked.

"Well, that is no surprise," I declared "the Badfort Crowd are renowned cheapskates!"

"No, Sir, I think he means that he is literally paid in peanuts." explained the Old Monkey.

"Hmmm, well how does a bag of  popping corn, dried green peas and toasted wholemeal bread, a day sound as an incentive to change sides to the good guys?" I remarked.

Needless to say, we soon had a new recruit. At last, we may discover the secrets of Badfort castle !

Read all about me in the world wide webosphere and in print !

You will be very pleased to know that the website about me has been updated with all the latest news.

It is full of inaccuracies, of course.

It is amazing how many people have fallen for the idea, put around by my biographer, that my life is a work of fiction created by the Reverend Martin !

However, it has some interesting facts about my good works and the nefarious Badfort Crowd.

Also, good news on the re-publication of my biographies in Great Britain - the Kickstarter project has been fully funded and is over now - fear not, though, you can still order copies of this magnificent tome from Mister Marcus Gipps at