Friday, 8 May 2015

Don't worry - all sorted out in a darkened room.

Went over to Badfort this morning to sort out this Badgertown Council Election mess.

"Why is it so dark in here?' I asked Beaver, as Hitmouse showed me into the ramshackle hall of the Badfort Crowd's castle.

"The King of the Badgers cut off our electricity didn't he! Miserable git was moaning about us not paying our bill!'

Hitmouse lit some Scob oil lamps, as Hootman handed out the cigars.

"So Unc, can you get some of his dwarfs on side?' declared Beaver.

I nodded "Yes, that should be no problem. I have promised them a couple of skyscrapers with luxury apartments - and a diamond mining concession. What about his badgers?"

'No sweat mate - quite a few of them are after some Scob fishing permits. Keen anglers, apparently, who like to while away their weekends messing about in boats." smirked Beaver.

"Enough, to swing it our way?'

"Oh yeah, easy."

I consulted my diary. "I can fit in being Mayor on Tuesdays and Fridays."

"O.K. Unc, I'll do Wednesdays and Thursdays and every other Monday. That suit you?'

Having sorted out the number of councillors we needed I returned to the Town Hall where Badger Macaroon had ensconced himself in the Mayoral Office.

Needless to say, I gave him a good kicking up.

After all, can't have a greasy little oik like that in charge of Badgertown can we?

Thursday, 7 May 2015

Badgertown Election Scandal

Voting is well under way in the Badgertown Town Council Election, but a scandalous attempt at fraud has been uncovered by my Detective, A.B.Fox.

Using state of the art X-Ray equipment he has obtained evidence that the diminutive Hitmouse, erstwhile reporter on 'The Badfort News', has hidden in one of the ballot boxes and is creating votes for Hateman - whilst swallowing the real voting papers!

It is a disgrace, and the King of the Badgers says I can squat in Badgertown Town Hall for as long as I like!

Election Memes

Now that the electioneering for the Badgertown Town Council Elections is over it is an opportune time to look back at some of the social media memes that have been generated.

By far the most famous must be the one of Beaver Hateman attempting to eat a scob fish in a rather disgusting manner.

It has been reprinted in the 'Badgertown Rag' today with the headline 'This is the oily mess Hateman could get us into.'

The Badfort Crowd attempted to show their leader in a different light by issuing photos of him feeding a poor little donkey.

Unfortunately, a wider view of the scene revealed that the sad looking animal was really the Wooden Legged Donkey, a notorious member of the Badfort Gang. He was, in reality, guzzling from a tin of that noxious libation, Black Tom.

The most dispicable meme has to be this libelous one suggesting that The King of the Badgers is a pawn in my pocket.