Thursday, 26 March 2009

A Royal Visit Chez Ferret Princess

Hello, all my faithful subjects, King of the Badgers here. As you know, Uncle is on holiday at Monkey-and-Engine-Room Wood. He has asked one to keep the old blog up for him. One would only be too happy dear chap, one told him.

One is very busy, as usual, on a State Visit to Great Britain.

The Ferret Princess has, very hospitably, agreed to put one up for a few days. Not quite the Palace one was expecting, but a charming abode all the same.

Her children are delightful, but the dog keeps eyeing me in a suspicious manner. One fears that he is not used to badgers around the place. One prefer corgi's oneself.

Her husband is a bit of a rum cove, he insisted on showing one his collection of comics and toys.

One did one's best to feign interest but when one was a child, one spake as a child, if you get one's drift. Still, one found him a decent enough chap and he obviously cares a great deal for his wife - he has equipped the Royal Arsenal with the latest in high tech weaponry. The Johnny Seven OMA. One has no doubt that he would not hesitate to use it in defence of the Royal Ferretage.

He is a very generous fellow, to boot. One happened to remark on the fact that the Royal coffers were somewhat low at present, and he kindly agreed to lend one a very useful sum of money. A man after Uncle's heart I am sure you will agree.

The Princess laid on a great banquet for one. It consisted, mainly, of some rather delicious doughnuts.

The evening, sadly, was marred by a rather nasty incident. Hitmouse, the chief reporter of the Badfort News, had disguised himself as a Spanish waiter - in order to infiltrate the Royal Household and take paparazzi photographs. His subterfuge was revealed, however, when his false moustache fell into the gazpacho soup.

Confronted, the slimy individual shouted "Viva the republic! look at you - living the high life whilst your poor subjects are struggling!"

One was aggrieved, it has to be said. Here on important state business, representing Badgertown to the world - only Uncle understands the terrible burden that one carries.

The Ferret Princess's husband forcefully expelled him from the property. Hitmouse cried out "Watch it Wossy! - this is gonna be all over the Badfort News! How do you fink the public will react to yet another attack on an harmless Spanish waiter!"

One is not sure of the meaning of this barbed attack, but his wife did remind him that he should be on his best behaviour on our visit to the Queen of England. It seems she does not want him upsetting another national institution.

Sadly, one fears that it may be one who should have heeded this advice. One is somewhat prone to making gaffs.

One thinks that one may have said the wrong thing to her Majesty, Elizabeth.

One merely remarked on how smart one thought her grandson looked in the pictures of him wearing a German military uniform and was rewarded with a frosty silence.

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