Saturday, 2 August 2008

What !

Captain's Log - Day 27

Having repulsed the invasion of the Pepperpot mosters, we were now puzzling over the appearance of a Police Box on Homeward Moonbase.

They are not an unusual sight - there are a couple of them on the base and, of course, many dotted all around Homeward.

But no one could remember having seem one in this particular spot.

We were examining the box when the door suddenly opened and a rather untidy young man poked his head out.

"Hello, how do you do? - I expect you will be needing my assistance to deal with the Pepperpots." he exclaimed, somewhat brashly.

"Hello, young man, I am Uncle and this is my moonbase - may I inquire as to your name?" I replied.

"I'm the Doctor." he said cheerily.

"Well, we have no need of your assistance, Doctor...?" I replied

"What!" he exclaimed.

"I see, well Doctor What..." I began...

"Who?" he interrupted.

"You! just said your name was What!" I replied in exasperation.

"That's not my name!" he said equally exasperated.

"So, who are you then?" I almost shouted.

"Yes, that's right!... Who, am I." he chirruped.

"Well, if you don't know what is your name, then how am I supposed to know who you are." I exclaimed.

"That's right Who, not What." he bantered.

I gave up on the argument - he was clearly an extremely bumptious and slightly deranged young man.

"Look, we have no need of your assistance - we have defeated the Pepperpots ourselves."

"What!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, please don't start that again! - the Pepperpots have run away. We don't need your help!"

At this he looked quite crestfallen. "You defeated the most dangerous aliens in the Universe by yourselves?....without my help?"

"Well, yes, it really wasn't that difficult, you know." I replied.

He looked very sad now, "Oh well, I suppose I better be going...", then he brightened up, he had clearly had an idea. "Would you like to look in my ship!'s awfully special you know!"

He was clearly bonkers. "In your Police Box you mean?....alright I would be happy to have a look inside." I humoured him.

I walked inside. "I know what you are going to say, everybody says it...It's bigger on the inside than on the outside!" he shouted.

"Well yes, of course, it needs to be. Not much use as a Police Box if you can't get a decent force of coppers in it, is it?" I said, gently.

At this he looked crestfallen again. "You mean, you are not at all surprised?" he mumbled.

"Well, it's just playing around with the dimensions of space - isn't it? Wizard Blenkinsop has been making Police Boxes like this for years. Our boys in blue need somewhere that they can sit and have a brew up don't they? and then people know if they go to a Police Box they can get advice and assistance immediately. It's a lot cheaper use of land than having lots of Police Stations." I explained.

"Usually, people are quite impressed by my ship..." he muttered.

"Yes, now about your 'ship"...where exactly did you get it?" I inquired.

At this, the young man looked rather sheepish.

"Well, I sort of borrowed it..." he stuttered.

"Do you mean, you stole it?" I probed.

At this he suddenly panicked and pushed me out of the door.

The Police Box slowly disappeared.

"Hmmm, well I must admit I have never seen one do that before." I pondered to the Old Monkey.

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