We were having a wonderful holiday here at Homesea, but, my troubles always seem to follow me.
The Old Monkey and I had just had an enjoyable cream tea at the teashop in Mermaid Street, and were wandering around looking at some of the Antique shops, when we were assailed by raucous laughter and singing coming from the environs of the Jolly Smuggler tavern.
I recognised one dreadful voice immediately, wailing a particular vicious shanty.
“Uncle on his holidays
Splashing around in the sea
He is so fat the fishermen mistake him for a whale
Poor old Uncle caught in the net!”
Beaver Hateman!
It transpires that he and his gang have brought the Wooden-legged Donkey here and are offering rides on the beach to unsuspecting tourists.
Once they are on his back he rushes into the sea and refuses to bring them back until they have handed over the contents of their wallets or purses.
I will not let this spoil my holiday – I shall just have a quiet word with the Mayor of Homesea and have their activities monitored.
Front Page Apology
11 years ago
How typical of Beaver Hateman to indulge in such a money-making scheme! I think he should return to a former method of raising cash by selling himself into slavery.
ReplyDeleteI find his poetry to be both poor in construction and scurrilous in nature. He clearly hasn't read the latest booklet on poetry writing, given away free with The Observer newspaper.