Saturday, 13 August 2011

Aggressive Late Night Shopping

I have had to cut short my holiday in Sunset Cove in order to deal with the outrageous behavior of the Badfort Crowd.

For what he claims are economic and sociological justifiable reasons, he and his gang of criminals have gone on a looting spree.

"We are robbin' the rich to give to the poor - and there is no one poorer than us!" he declared.

This is clearly not the case, however, as they have targeted high value consumer electronic items rather than the basic necessities of life.

Indeed, they totally ignored Cheapman's store -why steal a motorbike from his emporium when he sells them for only 6d ?

No - Hateman and his cronies rampaged through Dearman's store.

Duncan Dearman has a little shop in a side street opposite Cheapman's huge store. All his goods are frightfully dear.

The Badfort Crowd got away with a number of the latest valve technology televisions - priced at £4,567 3s 6d, an alarm clock with broken bell - priced at £98 6s 9d, and a number of the very latest tablet computers. They struggled with these, because Dearman's models are the size of a paving stone.

Poor old Duncan came to see me in a very distressed state. "My business is ruined !" he cried - how can I possibly replace all this valuable stock?"

Whilst the Old Monkey tried to comfort him, I nipped out to Shankell's Junk Shop.

"I'll take the lot - everything in the store!" I declared. 

"Everything!" shouted Shankell with glee. "I'm afraid that will cost you a £100, Sir - it's the best I can do!"

"Money is no object - in these difficult times we must all rally round - have it all delivered to Dearman's store, at once!" I replied.

Dearman was over the moon. "I cannot believe your generosity, Sir. You have completely restocked my shop. These items must have a retail value of a million pounds at least ! - I shall start pricing them up immediately!"

Of course, Dearman has very little business at the prices he charges - but it is his lifes work.

"I do not no how to express my gratitude enough, Sir!" he cried.

"It is enough to see your shop open for business, again!" I demurred.

Meanwhile, Beaver Hateman is furious. "I can't give this tat away!" he fumed as he tried to sell his ill-gotten gains to customers going into Cheapman's.

His anger has spilled over into making outrageous and libelous claims about me !

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