Monday, 18 July 2011

Badgertown Police Chief Resigns

The repercussions of this dreadful phone hacking business, perpetrated by The Badfort News, continue.

The chief of the Badgertown police has had to resign following the revelations that he enjoyed five week's free accomodation at the Badfort Spa.

"It was hardly luxury - I had to endure mud baths everyday, believe me there is no pleasure in having buckets of mud poured over you by Beaver Hateman !" he claimed.

His words rang hollow to me - there is nothing more I enjoy than a good wallow in a mud bath.

He went on to say "I was not plied with Black Tom, as some have implied. I was pummeled by Jellytussle as he insisted on giving me regular massages. In truth, I believe that they enjoyed torturing a member of his Majesty's police force and I only suffered these five weeks in order to gain valuable information on their anarchist activities. However, I can no longer continue with my duties amidst all these allegations, and I therefore have been forced to resign. I'll take responsibility, but it must be remembered that it is not I that took money for lavish parties !"

The implication is clear. An outrageous slur on my good name!

That is the thanks I get for my philanthropic largesse - it is true that I fund the King of the Badgers Annual Police Ball, but to imply that I do it for any other reason than to salute our boys in blue is scandalous !

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