Uncle's Day is a celebration, that the inhabitants of Homeward insist on having, honouring me and recognising the many charitable donations I have made over the past year, and the influence I have had on good citizenship in Homeward society.
The Crookball people always get terribly excited over the event and like to parade through the many towers of my domain with banners.
I have, also this week, had the great pleasure of opening the Badgertown Broadcasting Corporation's new state of the art facility at Broadcasting Tower.
I was very keen to see how the £98 million I had lent the King of the Badgers for a super duper new digital media system had been spent. This very clever system enables programme makers to call up any material in digital format at the touch of a button !
I was looking forward to seeing a very old film of the day I first accepted the keys of Homeward from Wizard Blenkinsop. I don't know what went wrong - smoke started pouring out of the computer and everyone got into a panic. Luckily they managed to dust off an old projector and I was able to watch the film over a nice bucket of cocoa and a bunch of bananas.
I think I will have to have a word with the King about that 92 million, though. I very much hope he has not spent it on a new coach.
On Uncle's Day the I also give out my annual awards and honours. I have made the Old Monkey a knight, he is now Sir Old Monkey of Monkey-and-Engine-Room Wood.
The media tycoon, Rupert Miser, is a MUG. He received the Most Uncilicious Order of the Garter.
Unfortunately, this led to more broadcasting traumas and accusations against my goodself. Unbeknownst to me, it appears that Mr Miser has been funding Badfort TV. I would never have honoured him if I had been aware that he was enabling their dissemination of half truths and lies.
Thank goodness, the plug was pulled on the station and it is now off air. It appears that Mister Miser accused Beaver Hateman of profligacy when he discovered that the drinks vending machine in their studios had been tampered with so that no money needed to be put in.
The Badfort News is now attempting to claim that the real reason for Mister Miser's actions has more to do with the award I have bestowed upon him. A quid pro quo, if you will, for a gong.
Rumours abound, however, that the true reason for Mister Miser's behaviour may have more to do with Beaver Hateman's amorous dalliances with his wife.
Not a very sensible way for a political leader to behave.