I wish to make it clear to all my supporters that this story in The Badfort News suggesting that my celebratory balloon flight over Badgertown was a hoax is a hoax.
As you will be aware, the flight was arranged tocommemorate the anniversary of my purchase of Homeward.
I wish to make it clear that it was myself holding the balloons and that at no time were the citizens of Badgertown in any danger.
Some commentators have suggested that it would not be possible for balloons of such size to carry my physical weight. Apart from the impudence of impugning my svelte physique they are scientifically incorrect.
The Balloons contained Gleamhound's heavy gas - designed to be used by astronauts to counteract the effects of lack of gravity. This, of course, like all Gleamhound's preparations has the reverse effect and is an extremely buoyant in air.
As for the claim by The Badfort News that I said in a television interview that "I was just a stuffed dummy you know" - this was taken entirely out of context. I actually said "The flight was all in the aid of charity, you understand. People are always trying to get me to do good works but I am very choosy about the causes I give succour to. I like to play an active part rather than hand over large sums of money - some people just want a famous figure to front their campaigns but I will not be treated as if I was just a stuffed dummy you know"