Friday, 23 July 2010

It's My Party and I'll ban who I want to

The Badfort party's latest quest for political respectability collapsed in fiasco when its leader, Beaver Hateman, was barred from the Unc's garden party at Homeward just two hours before it was due to begin after the Old Monkey decided he had exploited his invitation for financial gain.

Announcing the decision, the Old Monkey said brusquely: "Beaver Hateman will be denied entry to today's garden party at Homeward. As you know, it is traditional for there to be a friendly game of spigots at the annual party held on the lawns by the moat. It has been discovered that unusual bets had been laid on the outcome of the game - not only is this illegal and grossly discourteous but I have also been informed that bribes were offered to one player to give our dear Uncle a hefty blow on his trunk, in a feigned miss hit."

Uncle declared "In the prevailing spirit of conciliation, I offered the hand of friendship to my sworn enemy. Why should we only make truce at Christmas? I was willing to offer him hospitality at my annual Summer get together, as well. I was even prepared for the fact that I would have to put up with one or two insulting renditions of 'The Tyrant of Homeward'. But to cheat at Spigots - unforgivable!"

Hateman said "This is quite amazing news. This spurious Spigots story reveals that Unc was desperate for any excuse to bar me. I am held to a different standard to everyone else. The truth is that the fat dictator is frightened of the support the Badfort Crowd receives from the disgruntled, exploited, citizens of Homeward. I don't care anyway - his cucumber sandwiches stink!”

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