Monday, 1 November 2010

Bye bye

No, Don't worry, I will not be giving up on this blog - but I have decided that I will no longer be a twit.

So some anarchist paper misquotes misquotes a humorous interview I gave, which itself misquoted me and now I'm the Antichrist. I give up.

It all started when I was interviewed by Hitmouse for the Badfort News. I should have known better.

He cornered me on the thorny issue of housing benefits - claiming that dwarfs could be driven out of areas with high rents as a result of my drive to reduce the cost of housing subsidies.

This only became an issue because of the fracas that developed between the dwarfs of Tedium Tower and the Crookball of Lonely Tower.

On discovering that the Crookball people had been paying me no rent I decided that they would have to pay me a farthing a week.

However, in order to mitigate this additional expense for the hard working Crookball's I decided to open a shop for them at the top of their tower. I also had a very large jacuzzi installed so that they could have exhilarating baths.

This incensed the dwarfs of Tedium Tower who claimed that the Crookball's were receiving "extravagant" benefits.

I pointed out that there rents were subsidised and that they only paid a halfpenny a month. They are now up in arms because I have given them a jacuzzi but increased their rents to farthing a week!

I made some jocular remarks, which I admit may have been ill considered, but I insist that The Badfort News took them out of context.

“I feel sorry for short men. They are only useful for working down my goldmines.” they claimed I had stated.

My words were misconstrued, Beaver Hateman has claimed that my words were arrogant and deeply shortist, however I was merely pointing out that, as everyone knows, those dwarfs are a bit chippy and always looking to make trouble.

I have had enough - I will no longer be twitting.

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Buy my Biographies in America here and here

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