Scurrilous rumours have abounded, over the last few days, regarding a Christmas Dinner I held that was attended by the tycoon, Cheapman.
Much of this instigated, I might add, by one particular rogue anarchist, namely, Beaver Hateman.
Allegations have been made that we struck some kind of faustian pact that I would bring pressure to bear on the King of the Badgers that would have enabled him to take over the Badgertown Broadcasting Company.
Let me make it clear, although he did present me with a rather nice gold backscratcher, no such deal was struck.
It's a common thing in life, for animals to say, "I'll scratch your back if you scratch my back."
Monkeys, for instance, will often scratch each other's backs because they can't scratch their own.
It is very difficult for an elephant to scratch its back - I often have to use a large branch - so it was very nice of Mister Cheapman to think of buying me this implement to assist me.
I admit I very much enjoyed the back scratching session that followed.
However, let me make it clear, I have never asked the King of the Badgers for anything. It is him who is always borrowing money from me.
I have no business interests, I am only interested in performing my civic duty to the best of my abilities for the good of the people of Homeward. Remember, be an upstanding citizen, pay you're rent, and you will always have a friend in Uncle!