The Front Page

I must admit I was somewhat shocked that the Bank of England has appointed a Canadian as it's new Governor.

When I discovered the Brits, who are pretty insular bunch, were prepared to appoint a foreigner I had assumed that, with my vast economic experience, they were hoping to lure me to take the position.

Having just been appointed as the Director General of the Badgertown Broadcasting Corporation it would have meant juggling my workload - but my Wednesday afternoons are pretty free so I could probably have fitted it in. However, I note that Mr Carney and Mr Osbourne were old Moose hunting buddies when he worked for Gold in Sacks - so perhaps my trunk just did not fit?

I love Opera !

So, my first decision as Director General of the BBC is to clear the airwaves over Christmas for my new, self-penned, musical extravaganza "Hold the Front Page" !

This colourful tale of the machinations of modern journalism will shake the intellectual and spiritual landscape of Badgertown and Homeward.

It concerns the evil lies written about a generous entrepreneur and philanthropist by a seedy anarchist reporter. The reporter even bug his phones to try and find dirt on him. The reporters seedy antics are revealed by diligent journalists working for the entrepreneur's own newspaper.

However, a foolish judge then insists that all the newspapers have to come under statutory regulation.

The story then follows the great entrepreneur as he excitingly and skillfully lobbies for the only logical solution - statutory regulation for bad newspapers and voluntary regulation for good newspapers.

There will also, of course, be a strong Christmas element as the bad(fort) newspaper attempts to expose Santa as a serial chimney intruder.