Saturday, 2 March 2013

A Good Kickstarting Up !

I am most gratified to hear, from the Old Monkey, that a Mister Marcus Gipps is planning a 'Kickstarter' project aimed at funding the publication of an omnibus edition of my biographies, as related by J.P. Martin, in the United Kingdom.

I do have a few spare gold ingots - worth a couple of billion, I believe.

However, this is earmarked for another of my many charitable projects in aid of destitute dwarfs.

I may be able to make a donation from my International Development Fund for Impoverished Countries. Such a shame that the U.K.'s credit rating is so poor now.

I am sure that it will not be needed - Britain's politicians will be all too keen to invest in literature that extols the virtues of good citizenship and paying your rent on time.

Here at Homeward, of course, the books have always been in great demand. I make sure that every child receives a finely-tooled leather bound omnibus edition on their first day of school, gratis from their benefactor.

The only point that has somewhat irked me is the fact that my librarian, Will Shudder, has, so far, refused my offer to revise the manuscripts.

Really, there was no need for the Reverend Martin to make so many references to the bicycle incident. Also, there are occasional references to the anarchic activities of the Badfort Crowd that suggest a humourous element to their behaviour - even, dare I say it, engendering sympathy when they are resoundingly confounded !

I am sure that Mister Gipps will be seeking my advice on how these errors might be corrected. Of course, I would not suggest in any way that funds from the IDFIC would be contingent on my editorial guidance.

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