Wednesday, 29 April 2015

Kitchen Sink Drama

It has been a busy few weeks here at Homeward and Badgertown.

The Badgertown Mayoral and Council election is proving too close to call.

When Beaver Hateman threw his hat in the ring I had no choice but to stand as a candidate myself.

It has to be said that there seems to have been a surge in support for my minor party 'Trust in Uncle' but also, sadly, for Hateman's party the 'Badfort National Party'.

The BNP's ultimate goal is to cede from Badgertown and set up its own council.

The likeliest consequence of the success our diametrically opposed parties is a dramatic increase in our influence. In a closely divided council, every seat will count. 

I have from myself into the campaign with gusto - even allowing cameras into my own home. This may have been a mistake. The television companies seem to be obsessed with culinary acumen.

'They want to film me in my kitchen?' I declared when the Old Monkey informed me of the the Badgertown Broadcasting Corporation's request.

'Yes Sir, I think it could be good though - it will make you look like an elephant of the people.' he replied.

'Well which one? I think I have got five haven't I?'

'Yes Sir, but I think it would be sensible to use Mig's kitchen. It is less decorative and conspicuously lavish.'

The whole thing looked like it was going to be a disaster. The noise of Mig's oxy-acetylene torch (his favourite cooking technique) completely drowned out my important declarations on economic policy.

Luckily, I did very well in the invention round. If I say so myself, with just a few eggs, flour, sugar, butter and my favourite plant I was able to knock up a very respectable Banana Cream Pie.

Beaver Hateman fared less well. He tried to make a Scob Fish sandwich and the newspapers the next day were full of pictures of him attempting to stuff it in his mouth.

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