Thursday, 7 January 2010

Snowed In

Winters are always bad, here at Homeward, but this is the worst in at least twenty years.

All one can do is hunker down and have a bit of a hibernation - as nature intends at this time of year. At least, it gives us all a bit of peace and quiet.

Or, at least it would if it were not for the Badfort Crowd.

They have been my enforced guests since the Christmas blizzard made it impossible for them to return to Badfort!

As always, I play the good samaritan but do I recieve any thanks?

Beaver Hateman and his gang just complain all the time. You would think that staying in my palace rather than their ramshackle, draughty old wooden fortress would make them grateful - not one bit of it!

They are up their usual tricks as well.

It has been very tough for Noddy Ninety, who is determined to keep the switchback railways running. Yesterday morning he found himself caught in a snowdrift.

He was most gratified when the Badfort Crowd rushed up to dig his engine out. "Thank you, most profusely Mister Hateman" he declared. "Right that'll be five bob, mate!" came the reply!

Of course, the transport problems have meant that many passengers have been stranded at stations and airports.

Imagine their delight when, it appeared to them, some fellow travellers provided them with some impromptu entertainment.

However, their delight turned to horror when the songs proved to be defamatory ballads on the theme of my governance!

This was followed by an ugly brute in sackcloth demanding payment for the caustic verses!

The Badfort Crowd again, of course.

The terrible weather has also led to a shortage of brandy for the Saint Bernard rescue dogs. So many dwarfs have become trapped in the heavy snow, and they do like a tipple.

It transpires that Sigismund Hateman has been selling 'Black Tom', as a substitute to the dogs. The hospitals are now full of incapacitated dwarfs due to the noxious effects of the infernal brew.

To cap it all the Old Monkey discovered Hitmouse with an axe - in my own forest of exotic trees! Some of them are worth a fortune! He had been cutting them into bundles and selling them for 2/6d!

"Look mate!" he argued "I am just redistributing from the wealthy to the needy! - with a slight mark-up to cover my expenses."

I know one should try and be neighbourly in this inclement weather, but my patience has been stretched beyond the bounds of good citizenship!

Buy my Biographies in Great Britain here and here

Buy my Biographies in America here and here

No comments:

Post a Comment