I was intending to write today of some scandalous news I have recieved from a contact in the United Kingdom. It concerns a well known anarchist leader from Badfort and his relationship with a young lady student whilst he was engaged in 'teaching' political studies at St.Andrews University (in Scotland) during 2001.
Unfortunately, the King of the Badgers has issued a super injunction preventing me from disclosing any further details.
"One is in enough trouble with the Queen of England as it is!" he shouted at me. "I put you in charge of sorting out my son's wedding shindig, and you go and schedule it on the same day as Lizzie's bash!"
I was furious! After all, he conned me into paying for the jamboree! How was I to know that some minor European royal would choose to have their wedding on the same day!
Apparently, The Queen of England is furious about the fact that, due to my superior wedding planning skills, her grandson's wedding 'do' has been completely overshadowed by the Badger Royal Wedding.
It is true, billions are expected to watch the two badgers tie the knot on TV around the world.
The Badgertown Broadcasting Corpration have really gone to town with their coverage, as can be seen by clicking on their website, above.
The Americans love anything to do with royalty and were intending to make a big deal over William and Kate's marriage - but with the yanks, nothing trumps Royal Badgers.
I fear that The Queen will not be keen to hear further bad news, especially from myself. But, the United Kingdom faces the greatest threat to political stability that it has ever known. How can I not warn them of the anarchist cuckoo in in the Constitutional Monarch's nest?