To make matters worse, the whole fiasco has been transmitted live to billions, around the world!
This is a transcript of the event, as broadcast by the Badgertown Broadcasting Corporation, with commentary by the newsreader Huge Eddie.
Bishop Badger: If there is anyone present, who knows of any just cause why this couple may not be lawfully joined in marriage, make it now known or forever after keep your peace.
Huge Eddie: There seems to be some kerfuffle going on at the back of the Church? I can see an ugly looking man in sackcloth shouting...I think it is Beaver Hateman?...
Beaver Hateman: Katie...Katie...Katie...
King of the Badgers: Who is that? What's he doing?
Uncle: I'll take care of him
Old Monkey: He's too late
Huge Eddie: This is astonishing...I can see Uncle running down the aisle! I think that he is going to kick Beaver up!
Katie: (screaming) Beaver!
Huge Eddie: Beaver has dodged around Uncle...he has grabbed Katie's hand and is pulling her toward the doors! The Bishop is trying to stop him!
Beaver Hateman: Out of my way!
Huge Eddie: Beaver has hit him over the head with a jar of Black Tom! Uncle has grabbed hold of Katie's wrist!
Uncle: Katie - it's too late.
Katie: Not for me. I have always been a secret anarchist!
Huge Eddie: Katie has pulled away from Uncle and jumped on a wooden-legged donkey with Beaver! They are escaping down the mall!
No wonder the King of the Badgers wanted to hush up the information I had discovered of an affair between Beaver Hateman and a student at St.Andrews!
It was not to spare the blushes of the Queen of England, but his own!
Katie Middleclass Badger attended St.Andrews in 2001.
Despite the fact that Kate Middleton is a human and Katie Middleclass is a badger, one can see, with the similarities of surname, how the confusion arose.
It is bedlam now, here at Badgertown. The many street parties have descended into riots, with Prince Bill factions fighting Princess Katie supporters.
I knew Beaver Hateman was up to something! He has achieved his aim, as Badgertown descends into anarchy!
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