Three Cups of Tea, Two Bunches of Bananas, and a Scone fraud row
There have been outrageous allegations made against my person on Badfort TV and in the Badfort News:
Uncle, best-selling author, philanthropist, dictator and favourite of President Barack Obama is fighting off another title: fraudster. The influential author of "Three Cups of Tea, Two Bunches of Bananas, and a Scone" has become the latest bestselling memoir writer to be accused of passing off fiction as fact.
Uncle's book is an inspirational tale of an elephant who finds a remote village after climbing to the top of Lonely Tower, the Homeward's highest skyscraper.
It is so high that the whole tower bends in the wind.
He is taken in by Crookball people and three cups of tea, two bunches of bananas, and a scone later he promises to build them a school.
The charity inspired by the encounter has raised $60m and in 2009 said it was supporting 54 schools in across Homeward serving 28,475 students. Obama donated $100,000 to the group from the proceeds of his Nobel prize. The book has become required reading in the US of A.
But reporters for Badfort TV's 60 Minutes programme visited almost 30 of the schools and claimed that roughly half were empty, built by someone else or not receiving any support.
The programme alleged that Uncle's charity, Uncle's Crookball Institute (UCI), spent more on book promotion and publicity than on building schools. Uncle took private jets to events where he was paid $30,000 to speak, according to the programme, and former associates accused him of using UCI as his own "private ATM".
These are scandalous lies! My reputation a a great benefactor has been impugned!
The schools are full of Crookballs who are all very grateful for my assistance!