Thursday, 21 April 2011

Royal Wedding - badgers led by donkeys?

As you know, The King of the Badgers begged me to organise this Royal wedding shindig.

It has proven to be a diplomatic and political minefield.

Everyone, of course, had assumed that the bride and bridegroom's carriage would be drawn by the Respectable Horses.

There are four Respectable Horses, Mayhave Crunch and his three sisters Anna, Anne and Annette.

They always look so neat and tidy, and it's wonderful to see how smooth and black their coats are. Near the throat they have a patch of white almost like a clergyman's collar, and they always have well-brushed hooves. The Respectable Horses are never driven. They just put themselves between the shafts and drive off.

The King of the Badgers is in a  quandary, however. Beaver Hateman is determined that the coach should be drawn by the wooden-legged donkey, ridden by himself, and his brother the wooden-headed donkey.

It is a strange request, given that the Badfort Crowd are a bunch of anti-royalist anarchists, and I am sure that Beaver Hateman is up to no good.

But, with the Badgertown Town Council elections looming, the King of the Badgers wants to make the the affair as inclusive as possible and not to antagonise the Badfort Party - who he may have to negotiate with after the polls.

The thought of the Royal Coach being pulled by a couple of mangy donkeys is an anathema to me - it will make a mockery of the majesty of the event. No doubt, that is Beaver Hateman's intention.


  1. Could you not lend them your traction engine O generous one?

  2. Sadly, I have been told that it could be seen as a political gesture - also the bride is worried the cinders and ashes will ruin her dress.