Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Royal Wedding Triumph!

I know that you are all desperate to hear news of how the Royal Wedding fiasco ended.
As you know, Beaver Hateman ran off with the bride before vows could be exchanged.

This prompted a constitutional crisis - Beaver Hateman declared himself the new King of the Badgers and exhorted, from the balcony of the Town Hall, all badgers to follow him and their favourite Princess.

"O.K. but first you have to prove you love each other!" declared one young badger.

"Yeah. Kiss her! Kiss her!" chanted the crowd.

As the Princess looked adoringly into Beaver's eyes it looked as if all was lost.

The game would have been up - if it were not for the Old Monkey's eagle eyes.
"I spotted Hitmouse spiking the Princess's drink prior to the ceremony, Sir." he informed me.
"He poured in a vial of Gleamhound's Hate Potion!"

Gleamhound's medicines are all very good, but they act the wrong way. For instance, his headache Mixture gives you a frightful headache, his Jumbo Bunion Destroyer is well calculated to rouse bunions on a perfectly healthy foot. His Jacob's Eye Salve can put your eyes out for weeks, whereas his Punishment Eyesight Irritant (for enemies) will often cure people who have had to wear glasses for years.

"I have taken the precaution of advising the Prince to put some of Gleamhound's Love Potion into her champagne glass on the balcony - it should be beginning to take effect about now." added the Old Monkey.

At that moment, to the delight of the crowd, Beaver leaned in to kiss the Princess - but, as if awakening from a dream, she slapped his face and shouted "Get off me you horrible little oik! Ugh! you smell disgusting - and how dare you wear  that awful sackcloth outfit on my wedding day? Where is my Prince?"

At this point the Prince stepped out onto the balcony and, to rousing cheers from the crowd, took her in his arms and kissed her.
"Oh, my hero!" sighed the Princess.

Thus, this lingering kiss on the balcony averted a constitutional revolution and saved Badgertown from having an anarchist commoner (not even a badger!) King!

No comments:

Post a Comment