Since my annual Homeward Christmas card was sent out earlier this week, there have been a number of scurrilous rumours claiming that I am a member of some worldwide organisation conspiring to control world affairs by masterminding events and planting agents in governments and corporations to establish a New World Order and gain further political power and influence !
Going by the hysterical reaction, anyone would imagine that, just because I am a world renowned celebrity, I belong to some weird Kardashian cult.
Let me make this clear, the pyramid shaped Christmas tree was the idea of the photographer, some dubious character by the name of Dave Chapel. I had my suspicions, he claimed that just because he wore a sackcloth robe it did not mean that he had any connection with the Badfort Crowd. He insisted he wore it for purely aesthetic reasons, and because he suffered from piles.
I now know that he is a fully paid up member of the Badfort Revolutionary Front and that this has been a despicable attempt to undermine my good name.