Monday, 24 March 2008

Crown Court - Transcript - Day 11

Case: Rex vs Mister Beaver Hateman, Criminal Libel

Presiding Judge: Sir George Jeffreys

Counsel for the Prosecution: Godfrey Badger K.C.

Counsel for the Defence: Mister Hootman G.H.O.S.T

Judge Jeffreys: There has been some damage to the witness box following the removal of Friday’s witness, however as there are no more witnesses it is my intention to move onto the closing speeches….

Jury Foreman: S’cuse, I, M’lud, but we been got at…

Judge Jeffreys: Pardon? This is not the time for you to speak, yet…

Jury Foreman: Well, I just thought you would want to know someone tried to nobble us…

Judge Jeffreys: Nobbled?

Clerk of the Court: Your honour, I think that the Foreman of the jury means that someone has tried to influence the verdict of the jury

Judge Jeffreys: In what manner?

Jury Foreman: Well first he said it was our duty as comrades, for the sake of the revolution, to make sure Mister Hateman was found not guilty and we told him where to get off…

Judge Jeffreys: I should think so to!

Jury Foreman: Then he offered us loads of money and casks of Black Tom.

Judge Jeffreys: Disgraceful!

Jury Foreman: Well to be honest, we was tempted…but we don’t want to rub the landlord up the wrong way…

Judge Jeffreys: Ahem! Quite so, quite so, then what happened?

Jury Foreman: Then he said if Mister Hateman weren’t quitted he would smash our heads in.

Judge Jeffreys: Outrageous! What did this man look like?

Jury Foreman: Well he had a big bushy false beard, a wig, and dark glasses so we ain’t to sure…but he was rough lookin’ and wearing a sackcloth robe…he also said you shouldn't be making us work on a Bank Holiday...

Judge Jeffreys: Oh very well!, I shall adjourn, for the day, whilst investigations are made…

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