One of the most popular programmes on Homeward television is'The Good Life'.
We do not buy many foreign programmes, as they are not usually very edifying. This programme, however, blending comedy and educative information on leading a sustainable, simple and self-sufficient lifestyle, is a firm favourite - and constantly repeated.
The dwarfs, who live in my many towers, were most enthusiastic when I suggested that the tops of all my skyscrapers be ploughed up into allotments, growing soft fruit and vegetables.
Imagine our excitement, then, when we discovered that the British Broadcasting Corporation were producing a modernised version of this classic sit-com.
I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I had never heard of the wonderful actress Sue Perkins - who was chosen to play the role of Barbara Good. Of course, Felicity Kendall, the original actress in the role, is treated as a goddess by the dwarfs - and some are skeptical of Sue's ability to make the role her own.
Having seen her in costume, I feel that she has the same gamin charm of Felicity and will be a great success in the part. I am not sure about the rather charmless character they have selected to fill the boots of Richard Briers, however.
I invited Sue on a State visit to Homeward, and her reception even outshone that of President Obama!
She is such a talented young lady, as well. The Old Monkey informed me that she was a renowned conductress - to boot, which led to a bit of a mix-up, at first, as I had arranged for her to show off her skills on the No.11 bus route.
She was soon demonstrating her dexterity with the baton - leading the Badgertown Colliery Band in a rousing rendition of "Hail to Glorious Uncle!"
Riding around with her in my new carriage, and in my new purple dressing gown and top hat I think, if I say so myself, I cut quite a dash. I remarked to the Old Monkey that I felt that Sue was somewhat enamoured of me. "She is gay, Sir" countered the Old Monkey. The implication of this remark made me furious! "I may be burdened with weight of High Office - but I am actually quite a jolly elephant myself!" I retorted. It can be a lonely existance, for a celebrity of my status - something I am sure Sue appreciates.
I have been on to the BBC today, about purchasing the new series, and look forward, greatly, to seeing Sue's thespian virtues.
Of course, the Badfort Crowd hate "The Good Life". Beaver Hateman says that it is "Nothing but a couple of reactionary stereotypes confirming the myth that the working classes are all Oiks!"
The Badfort Crowd's favourite sitcom import is "Citizen Smith" " the story of Wolfie" Smith, a young Communist "urban guerrilla" living in South London. Beaver says it reminded him of his early struggles. The Badfort Crowd were furious that in the sequel, "My Family" (which they assumed was about the familial cameraderie of a revolutionary cell), Wolfie had become a bourgeois middle class dentist.