Following a remark made by a Mister Karl Pilkington, on Comic Relief day, some disreputable gossip has been put about by members of the Badfort Crowd regarding the provenance of my new pair of slippers. The remark can be found at 2.20 on this video.
Let me set the record straight here and now. These emerald and ruby encrusted slippers were not bought using the proceeds of money collected by the dwarfs, of my many towers, for the benefit of Comic Relief.
They were bought for me by The King of the Badgers in gratitude for services rendered, by myself, in an economic capacity.
Also, for the record, I do not go to the newsagent in my slippers - or indeed, at all.
A freshly ironed copy of The Homeward Gazette is placed on my desk, by The Old Monkey, every morning.