Saturday, 12 March 2011

Storm in a Teacup

There was a bit of a storm in my cup of Earl Grey yesterday afternoon.

Someone opened a twitter account just to stalk me!

Oh well, that is the price of celebritydom, I suppose.

It seems they were incensed by the piece I wrote on the King of the Badgers charity, Cosmic Relief.

At first, I thought it must be Beaver Hateman having another pop at me. Now, I suspect that it might have been The King of the Badgers, himself, furious at my disclosing his use of unpaid interns.

I am not keen on the use of interns. Being from humble beginnings, I could not have afforded to work for nothing on leaving University. I had to get on my bicycle (I had managed to buy one by then) and earn a crust. In my first job I was paid two bunches of bananas a week - I ate one and sold the other! My savings soon began to accrue. I used the skins from the eaten bananas to build a most hospitable abode.

When Goodman the cat came to work for me he said "Oh, fantastic, Sir, will I be your intern?"
He loves American hardboiled detective stories, and so loves any American expressions.

"I prefer the expression, apprentice, Goodman." I replied "You shall learn a trade and receive a roof over your head, three fish a day, and a half a crown a week - show merit and you will go far!"

Goodman was, of course, overwhelmed with gratitude.

I am a firm believer in a meritocracy - for how else could an elephant rise to such dizzying heights?

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