Friday, 13 November 2009

Jed & Ward Controversy

I had not intended to write about my voting decisions on the Homeward Singing Competition, that is being broadcast by the Badgertown Broadcasting Corporation.

However, on Saturday I decided not to vote against the dwarf twins Jed & Ward - preferring to allow their fate to be decided by the public vote.

There has been such a storm of protest about this issue.

It is true that I have consistently said that their singing is appalling.

I have been accused, by the Badfort Crowd, of only pretending to be a fair judge whilst all along, really, being an extremely calculating millionaire tycoon and showbusiness mogul, who owns the production company that makes the singing competition.

They say I have cynically kept them in because of their popularity with the millions of dwarfs of Homeward and that I was scared of the ratings going down.

Let me make it clear - all the funds generated from this competition go to the many good causes that I support.

If you allow - which I think is right - the public to determine who wins, you've got to go with it. You don't have to agree with it but you have to go with it.

Besides, did the Badfort Crowd really think that I would let Sigismund Hateman go any further in the competition after he sang this?

Under a spreading chestnut tree,
The village tyrant stands;
Uncle, a mighty elephant is he,
With large and sinewy hands,
And the muscles of his waving trunk,
Are as strong as iron bands.

Week in, week out, from morn till night,
You can hear is boastings blow,
You can see him swing his loaded trunk
With measured beat and slow,
And he often kicks his neighbours up
When the evening sun is low.

Lying, swindling and boasting,
Onward through life he goes;
Each morning sees some crime begun,
Each evening sees it close;
Somebody bullied, somebody done,
Has earned a night's repose.

Thank goodness one can rely on the good citizens of Homeward and Badgertown to see this for the blatant Badfort propaganda that it is!

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