Monday, 16 November 2009

The Purple Gowned Philanthropist

The King of the Badgers insisted on making a speech last night, about me, at a banquet he held in my honour following the donations I have made for civic works.

It was most embarrassing:

"It is a privilege to make this speech thanking Uncle who is known throughout Homeward and Badgertown for his charitable work. He has a fine reputation as a philanthropist business elephant and benevolent employer. Why, he has even sent over some of the dwarfs, from his mines, to work on his own designs for the 'Home for Fallen Badgers'.

It is gratifying to see the good feeling between Uncle and his workdwarfs. Uncle doing the brainwork and his dwarfs doing the handwork. Both, doing their best and realising that their interests are identical. The true solution to the present depression and consequent social problems is work...and plenty of it!

None of this silly nonsense from the red flag wavers of Badfort!...who want everything shared out for nothing...most of those fellas are too lazy to work for a living....they just sit around drinking Black Tom all day!

If ever that Badfort Crowd were to get the upper hand there would just be a few of the artful dodgers, like Beaver Hateman, who would get all the Scob fish and there would be nothing left for the rest. There have to be elephants and workers and as long as the elephants are as clever and bountiful as Uncle, and the dwarfs as grateful and well-behaved as these chaps then everything will carry on in a grand manner!"

I do so hate having all this praise heaped on me - for I am merely doing my civic duty as all good leaders of men must.

I only hope that sneaky reporter from The Badfort News, Hitmouse, does not get wind of this speech - heaven knows what kind of nasty spin they might put on it.

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