Friday, 24 December 2010

The Elementalist, A Christmas Ghost Story

A final Christmas tale of Stiener Brashburg's Antique Shop 'Temptations'.

As I have previously recounted, each purchase from Brashbag's comes with "a big novelty surprise". For those who pay a fair price this surprise is generally good, but for those that cheat Brashburg - well, a nasty fate awaits all of them.

Sigismund Hateman came to rue the day that, whilst out of sight of Brashburg, he put the price tag of a cheaper snuff box on the one he wanted to buy.

Brashburg sold him the box at the altered price, bidding him farewell with a cheery "I hope you enjoy snuffing it."

When sniffed, snuff causes one to sneeze - but the preparation contained in this particular snuff box was none other than Gleamhound's "clear your nose" snuff - as his concoctions always work backwards Sigismund soon found his nose completely blocked. Unfortunately, however, this was not the only damaging aspect to the snuff box - for it had once been stolen from the Haunted Tower.

"Dis snuff has bade be all blocked up" complained Sigismund as he sat by the fire in Badfort Castle. "Id going do ruin by Bismas! - an I god a pain in by ear too!"

Hootman walked in and let out a yell! "I'm not surprised you got a pain in your ear! There's a bloomin Elementalist sitting on your shoulder poking it with a skewer!"

Being a spirit, Hootman can see other supernatural beings that are unseen by ordinary mortals.

He cast a few runes and managed to make the Elementalist partly visible - Hitmouse tried to skewer it but as it was made of something like a thick fog, this was no good.

"You rotten little ghost! You are spoiling our Christmas!" shouted Beaver.

"Well, what do you think its like being stuck in a snuff box over Christmas?" wailed the Elementalist. His voice was piercing, and so strident they all had to put their hands over their ears.

"Alright, alright, thats enough screaming and wailing!" muttered Beaver "You can stay with us for Christmas - if you behave yourself!"

The Elementalist was ecstatic "Oh Brill, nobody has ever invited me to spend Christmas with them! They usually try and exorcise me !" he said joyfully.

"Blimey, don't tell anyone we were nice to you! It'll ruin our reputation!" laughed Beaver. "Here, have a flagon of Black Tom, and join us in a few choruses of a good old Christmas song!"

The elementalist sang in a high falsetto voice, with the Badfort Crowd.

On a bitter winter's night
By the gates of METZ
I waited in the fading light,
In my torn VEST.

So, once more, Stiener Brashburg's Antique Shop 'Temptations' had worked its magic - even the Badfort Crowd had been imbued with something of the Christmas spirit.

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