Saturday, 25 December 2010

Uncle's Christmas Message

Uncle’s Annual Christmas Message as broadcast today:

Hail to Glorious Uncle Anthem – intro pictures of the Great Hall at Homeward

Cut to Uncle at his desk in front of the Great Christmas Tree.

2010 has been a difficult year for many of you, in particular for those in Badgertown facing the economic downturn and deepening recession. We, here at Homeward, are weathering it all better than most – due to my excellent head for economics.

Sadly, I have noticed that some of you dwarfs have been missing your rent payments – even though I only charge a farthing a week!

At this special time of year, all over the World, we celebrate the spirit of community so come on, let’s see a bit more civic responsibility and pay your rent on time!

The spirit of community should not just be for one or two days; it should be something for every day, but you have all got a bit lax and selfish recently

What is the solution to this sorry state of affairs? There is only one.

Sport, sport and more sport!

I have decided that 2011 will be a “Year of Sport” in Homeward.

There shall be a singing competition, dwarf throwing events, a new Spigots league, and a water cricket tournament!

In the spirit of fraternity, I have even agreed to a friendly game of “mob football” between the people of Homeward and Badfort.

This will be played on the ground between the two castles involving an unlimited number of players on the opposing teams.

The winner will be the first team to get an inflated pig's bladder into the opposition’s moat.
I have Beaver Hateman’s word that his players will not have skewers or Duck Bombs secreted about their persons.

By the end of the year I am sure we shall see a return to that traditional community spirit so typical of our proud City, and we shall once again see Homeward united!

Remember, be an upstanding citizen, pay you’re rent, and you will always have a friend in Uncle!

A very merry Christmas to you all.

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