Saturday, 17 September 2022

Tour Itinerary

Goodman and Will Shudder have been working on our tour itinerary.Will once worked for Professor Gandleweaver as a teacher at the Fish-Frying Academy for hardly any money, but I wanted someone to catalogue and arrange the books in my library so I gave him the job. I couldn't have chosen a better man. He works hard and is very systematic. This is very important because I order at least a thousand books every year. My library is a most interesting place.The building consists of a stupendous hall which goes all round the bases of four big square towers that are set about a lake. It's really four rooms in one, and the rooms are so big that if you want to go from one of them to the one opposite it's easier to row across than to walk around. Although the lake comes right up to just below the windows, the hall is perfectly dry. It has books going up so high that you can't possibly see where the top rows are, but luckily there's a patent step-ladder with a chair at the back. One simply presses a button and the chair soars right up to the ceiling, so that you can easily reach the topmost books. The library walls are of a brown colour with rich red silk curtains. In it there are nine immense gas fires in fireplaces shaped like dragons. One lights the gas, and the dragons become red-hot. It looks fine on a winter evening. Goodman and Shudder spent the whole day consulting a tremendous book bound in black leather and trimmed with gold and red. This is the A.B.C.Complete Guide to Homeward and it is so big that it has to be wheeled around on a trolley. The Library is a mysterious place at the best of times - honeycombed with secret passages. Goodman confided in me that he often had the strange feeling of being watched. Whilst they were selecting places to visit, he kept sensing someone else in the room - but every time he thought he glimpsed something in corner of his eye he would turn around and it would have disappeared. Strange, indeed. They decided that we would, of course, have to visit all the great towers of Homeward. The Sweet Tower, The Haunted Tower, Watercress Tower, Lonely Tower, Grey Tower, Ironside Tower, Treacle Tower, Lion Tower and the Pleasure Palace at Montague Tower. It is a long tome since I last inspected The Oil Tanks, so they went on the list. The Arts are important so they added the Homeward Art Gallery at Crack House. My Museum is always of interest too. The dwarfs will be expecting me to visit their Drinking Fountains. One always likes to do a bit of shopping whilst on these trips so they added the Animal's Novelty Shop and Cadcoon's Store. It would also be the opportunity to pay a few visits - Captain Walrus at his Lighthouse and Brass's previous owner, Mrs Moonray, at the Blowpipe Laundry. For relaxation and pleasure they selected Water-Step Hill, The Sinking Parade, Monkey-and-Engine-Room Wood, and the Fun Fair near Sunset Beach. What Grand Day's Out we shall have!

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