Saturday, 17 September 2022

Help my Asian relatives

I am indebted to Mister Stephen Fry for bringing to my attention the plight of my Asian relatives. You can find out how you can help them at the elephant family website. Celebrities, such as Stephen, are auctioning kisses at this Charity Auction Site. Rather vulgar I now - but needs must. Personally, here at Homeward, I will be auctioning an evening of fine dining with yours truly. It promises to be a night of gastronomic delight, filled with my own witticisms and repartee. Should raise a few hundred thousand at least, I would think. I felt I had to reward Stephen in some way for his magnanimous gesture, so I have decided that he is now the frontrunner to play me in the movie of my life. As can be seen from the paparazzi picture below, however, this has infuriated Hugh Grant who had high hopes that the part would re-invigorate his career. He has taken the news quite badly. It has caused a major falling out about between these once close friends.

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