Saturday, 17 September 2022


Beaver Hateman has caused a furore by making disparaging remarks about the Badgertown Health Service on the Bad News Network. It should be noted that I provide health care free and gratis to all the inhabitants of Badgertown whatever their age or income. The Bad News Network is a propaganda organ for the Badfort Crowd - but what, one wonders, could these left wing agitators find to complain about a free service? It would seem that Beaver's grievances stem from the treatment he received from medical staff after a run-in with the Badgertown Police. "It is one rule for the ruling classes and another for the workers!" claimed Hateman. "We were being good citizens, helping some security guards carry some sacks of gold coins into a bank. When suddenly they started accusing us of theft - just because Hitmouse had mistakenly mixed up his bags of sawdust with some of their bags. We were then attacked by the forces of oppression - i.e. the King of the Badgers lackey police force. A fight ensued in which a few of the coppers got some scratches from Hitmouse's skewers and I was severely injured on the head. On our arrival at the Badgertown Hospital the Securitate were all given Gleamhound's Wound Inflamer and immediately felt better. The so-called nurse accused me of being a "cry baby over such a small bump" and doused it in Gleamhound's Headache Relief Ointment! I had a pounding head for days! Do Not Be Fooled! the BHS is just another tool of oppression!" I was of course shocked to hear of this unfortunate incident. I have no doubt that it was an accident. Sadly, even in a caring service such as the BHS, errors do occur. It is a well known fact that Gleamhound's cures all work backwards, but obviously this can become confusing at times. I have invited the Nurse in question to tea at Homeward and I assure you she will be severely reprimanded.

1 comment:

  1. I think that Beaver has made a tactical error there, sir. Glenn Beck is in fact a Mormon and extremely right wing. He will sort Beaver out.