Friday, 16 November 2007

Mugged by Children

Cowgill came up with another ingenious gadget to help me retrieve the gold bullion stolen from me by the Badfort gang.

A giant ballista.

Yesterday we launched our attack. I was catapulted into Badfort Castle and took the villains completely by surprise.

I was astounded to see in the central courtyard that they had piled up, not only my gold, but also what looked like millions and millions of dollars. Beaver and his gang were still all fast asleep so I kicked open the gates and my followers burst in.

Hitmouse gave a cry and soon Beaver and his gang came streaming into battle. A furious fight ensued. Although they put up a determined resistance we were like a mighty avalanche and events had soon turned in our favour. I was about to give Beaver a mighty kick up when he suddenly shouted "Look it's Kenny Hogan!"

Was this some kind of trick? I thought. What would the famous television personality and professional Irishman be doing here?

Holding Beaver tight I looked around and saw the celebrity getting out of his stretch limousine with a whole gang of precocious children.

He thanked us profusely for all our good work and proceeded to supervise the children whilst they loaded his car with my gold and Beaver's dollars!!!

What could we say?...after all I had my image as a philanthropist to consider and Beaver could hardly complain given all his rantings about stealing from the rich to give to the poor (which we all know is nonsense).

With a wave as he drove away Kenny once again thanked us for doubling the amount raised this year.

Beaver and I looked at each other disconsolately. "Ever feel you have been mugged?" whispered Beaver. We both looked up at a banner over our heads...written on it in large letters were the words "Children in Need - Sponsored Fight". "Who put that there ?" Beaver and I shouted in unison. Nobody came forward but I noticed the Old Monkey was conspicuous by his absence.

Oh well, I suppose it's a good cause. Beaver suggested we drown our sorrows and make a night of it so we had a bit of a party.

He seems remarkably sanguine about his financial loss - he must be up to something.

These truces don't last long.

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