Thursday, 12 March 2009

A Day of Public Rejoicing

Following our victory yesterday, I have decided that today will be a day of public rejoicing.

Many presents have arrived from well-wishers. The Maquis of Wolftown has outdone himself sending a hundred trains filled with hams, lard, and cocoa. Cheapman has sent an army of a thousand badgers each carrying on his head a box of provisions.

The King of the Badgers, poor as he is, sent boxes of choice dates and fruits, as well as a case containing some of his family jewellery. This I, of course, returned with a handsome gift in cash.

An unknown magnate called Rosco, sent a a hundred wagon-loads of butter, and twenty kegs of first-grade water-melon pickle.

I have even been given an address by the badgers containing three hundred and fourteen lines of praise.

The whole castle is illuminated by millions of electric lights and high above Homeward is a monster sign 'Uncle the Victor' which flashes in red, purple and yellow.

My main concern, however, is not that I am lauded for my great achievement but that the people of Homeward have a grand day.

We are having a great festival banquet for all the inhabitants, and an enormous display of fireworks will end the night.

There are many jugglers and singers at hand to entertain the crowds.

I gave a speech.

"Friends and followers, we are all assembled here today to rejoice over the defeat of a set of human skunks. We can rejoice that this castle is not under the iron thumb of a rampant despot. Now you may all disperse and enjoy the festivities but remember - be upright, pay your rent, avoid brawling and disorder, and you will find Uncle a friend and protector at all times"

The cheering was deafening but, as it died down, the sound of raucous laughter and an awful musical racket could be heard coming from Badfort. I had hoped that this defeat might dampen their revolutionary ardour but, sadly, it would seem that this is not the case.

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