Tuesday, 2 December 2008

In the Far Southern Seas



The village has suddenly sped up on its journey. We have become caught in the West Wind Drift, have rounded the Cape of Good Hope, and now find ourselves in the Indian Ocean.

As we drift through the tropical seas, the people who are left carry on a dream-like way of life - not caring where we are going or what is to become of us.

Tourists still bring in a bountiful revenue, as do the offshore registered companies, so the villagers are still wealthy. But they no longer seem interested in money - they are happy to sit watching the long blue ocean swell past giving the whole mass of the place a slow, sleepy, gentle rocking motion.

Only Beaver is still scheming away with money-making ventures.

The one thing that I have missed on our journey is bananas - I do like my bananas.

So, I was most pleased today when Beaver paid a visit to my cell with a big bunch of them.

"Thank you very much, Beaver, but why the despondent air?" I inquired of him.

"Them damn yellow fings - thats wot" he bellowed "You know its the Brits favrite fruit? I thought I would corner the market in the fings! make a killing. So I met up with some plantation workers and done a deal with them for some knock-off fruit. Only I found out I paid the same wot Tesco do!"

"Hmmm, I see - well look at it this way Beaver. For every £1 worth of the fruit, the retailer takes 40p, the international trading company gets 31p, the distributor gets 17p, the plantation owner 10p and the worker picking them 2p. By buying them direct from the workers you have just exponentially increased their wages. It is a huge publicity coup!" I replied.

"Cor, strike a light you're right, mate! Beaver Hateman - Hero of the Working Classes!, I can see the headline now!" marveled Beaver.

"So, how about releasing me - in return for that sage advice?" I asked him.

"You must be joking - after that kicking up you gave me?" laughed Beaver. "Not on you Nellie!".

I remarked that his attitude merely confirmed my belief that he had turned the village into a banana republic - but he did not seem to get the joke.



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1 comment:

  1. bananas are good


    The Manc Doctor

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