Homesea is a small village and whilst having a cream tea in Mrs Hardaker's Teashop we heard the gossip on the Badfort Crowd's latest activities.
It appears that, having been banned by the Mayor from fleecing the tourists with their 'donkey' rides, they have now set up a 'Punch and Judy' Show.
As we walked down Mermaid Street I could here gales of laughter coming from the Strand Quay.
The Old Monkey tried to hurry me home "Come on, let's get back to the tower - you know it will just be the usual scurrilous nonsense, that Beaver is so fond of." he urged.
But, I must admit, my curiousity got the better of me - I could not resist the temptation to see what the crowd found so amusing in Beaver's antics.
The show was an absolute disgrace - pandering to the lowest common denominator in satire.
It featured Mister Punch extolling me to lend the paupered President of America more money. This hapless soul was depicted as a cowboy begging at my feet. Beaver put on a supercilious voice, apparently intended to mimic myself, and cried out "$200 billion and not a penny more!"
At this point Mister Punch called me an old miser and hit me around the head with a stick.
Further misadventures consisted of me being attacked by Judy, with a rolling pin, for selling her baby.
This was followed by an uprising of the people against my 'tyrannical rule'!
Typical of the kind of feverish imaginings of Beaver's warped mind.
I shall have another word in the Mayor's ear - this kind of unlicensed propaganda cannot be allowed to continue.
Buy my Biographies here and here
Front Page Apology
4 years ago