Tour de Homeward

The annual Tour de Homeward bicycle race has begun. The race involves a circuit of the whole of my domain and, as you can imagine, this takes many weeks. The switchback railways and water chutes that run between the hundreds of skyscrapers, that comprise Homeward, are converted into a giant bike track. The course also runs through some of the wilder regions such as Watercress Tower and Owl Springs as well as the picturesque like the Dwarfs' Drinking Fountains and The Sinking Parade. As usual I start the race off on a specially reinforced bike created for me by my engineer Cowgill. This year, sadly, the infamous Badfort Crowd decided to disrupt this glorious event. They were waiting with placards that, once more, repeated the scandalous lie that I had once stolen a bicycle. As I am sure you are aware the truth is that I only borrowed the bike and due to my being well built, and it not being very well made, - it broke. Cloutman was able to fend off the attack from the miscreants, but not before they had sprayed tin tacks in my path.From nowhere Hootman suddenly appeared and raced ahead of the pack. This was clearly an attempt by the Badfort Crowd to get a head start in the race with the sole aim of claiming the winner's prize. Suffice to say that it was swiftly decided to disqualify Hootman on the grounds of cheating and being non- corporeal.