Outfoxed

Boris Badger was given a bit of a roasting, on the telly last night, by Jeremy Foxman (dressed in his trademark butchers apron). Foxman wanted to know what would be the cost of Boris’s plan to give all the citizens of Badgertown fold-up tricycles. Boris said this would be “no more and no less” than the cost of Ken Goat’s proposal to bring in a new fleet of bent buses. This is how the exchange went on: Foxman: “Give us a figure.” Boris: “When you look at the prospect that this offers ...” Foxman: “Come on, what is the figure?” Boris: “The average cost of a bent bus is about 43 Guineas 12/- 6d . I envisage the cost over time being substantially amortised, to be easily bearable under the transport fund .. Foxman: “Am I not making myself clear? What we want to know is how much you propose to spend on all these tricycles?” Boris: “No more and no less ... Foxman: A figure? A figure? Boris: Than the cost of the mayor’s ... Foxman: I despair. Boris: They will be shiny and red. I think Jeremy Foxman was rather rude, badgering Boris Badger like that, especially as he has been having a hard time this week. He faces the possibility of an inquiry by anti-sleaze watchdogs after failing to declare his shareholding in the television company that makes his documentaries - the very excellent "Dream of Homeward" which documented the rise of my business empire and "Clash of Civilisations" about my conflicts with the ne-er-do-wells of Badfort.