I had thought that I had put a stop to the publication of that disgraceful newspaper, the Badfort News, but it has managed to get going again.
This is a cutting from the latest copy:
THE CON-ARTIST OF HOMEWARD
Great woe has been caused to many well-wishers by the news that we have been starved into paying back those mercenary and merciless capitalists at Badgertown Rock £812,000 16s 4d.
We had borrowed the sum of one million pounds in order to fund our life-time of hard work and heroic attacks against the lying, boasting owner of Homeward. Uncle, the tyrant and bully, told the misers at Badgertown Rock to force us into submission by with-holding the basic necessities of life - Black Tom and Scob Fish. A gross act in defiance of our human rights.
To add insult to injury the unscrupulous elephant took advantage of our attempt to raise funds to pay off the debt collectors. We held a Cart Boot Sale during which he conned Comrade Hitmouse into selling off a valuable painting at a knock down price. It turns out that, all the time, Uncle knew it was a valuable painting by some old Dutch geezer who as well as being a painter worked as an entertainer doing impressions.
This gross act by the arch-tyrant will be avenged.
Luckily, we had already managed to spend some of the money on the new People's Palace - Black Tom served all night.
Ha, a typically poisonous skewing of the true facts by that reptile Beaver Hateman.
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Front Page Apology
4 years ago