On the first day of our trip, as we were passing Pink-Smoke Tower and Grey Tower, crowds of badgers, pigs, goats and dwarfs ran out to greet us.
"Three cheers for the opener of the Dwarf's Drinking Fountains!" shouted a small stout badger - and they all joined in. How refreshing to find that there are so many that appreciate one's efforts I thought.
Our first visit was to Treacle Tower where once vast quantities of Treacle had flooded into a tunnel. I had had to rescue many people and arrange free distribution of the treacle to the inhabitants of my domain.
The Tower had been put to good use and now provided living accommodation for many of my tenants.
Suddenly we heard the screeching of brakes - I could not believe my eyes!
There before us was a ramshackle old bus containing the Badfort Crowd!
Emblazoned on the side was a sign saying 'Groanward Tour'.
"Hi Unc! we heard about your tour idea so we thought we would join you!" shouted Beaver.
"Even managed to persuade some punters to be paying passengers - blimey this place is so horrible it turns you grey just looking at it!" he continued and then, in an aside to his punters, he said "This is where the tyrant tried to drown innocent people in a sticky, stifling flood of treacle! What could be more cruel! but what do you expect from the Top Tyrant, the Emperor of Coconut Cadgers himself !"
I could not believe this slander!...I was about to defend myself when Beaver revved up the throttle and a cloud of noxious fumes enveloped us.
"Let's continue our tour of Homeward - I call it Groanward" Beaver shouted at his passengers over the din of the backfiring engine. He then turned back to us and cried "See you at the next stop, Unc!" as his bus disappeared in a plume of smoke.
I can see that this trip may not be as trouble-free as I had hoped.
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Front Page Apology
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