Friday, 4 April 2008

Shocking Revelations !

It was today revealed that Badgertown's incumbent Mayor, Ken Goat, has fathered five kids by three different nannies.

I must admit I was rather shocked - but in a press statement Ken said "I'm an old goat - what do you expect?" and I suppose he has a point. One cannot judge him by the same standards as elephants.

Even more shocking news was the fact that Boris Badger has admitted snuffling for hallucinogenic mushrooms, and other fungi, when a young cub. He claims that he sneezed and so it did not go up his nose - and that anyway all badgers root around on the forest floor when they are young.

This all comes on top of claims that he is not a natural blonde and in fact wears a wig. Professor from the Royal Badgertown Hospital has said that "he finds it extraordinary for a badger to have markings of this kind on their head"

Boris has also been attacked for being an old Lyreite who does not understand the needs of Badgertowners.

His old headmaster, Doctor Augustus Lyre, has dismissed these claims.
"These elections may appear to be about celebrity," Doctor Lyre said. "Boris has been on TV a lot … and he's gotten a lot of publicity with his antics. However, he's a loveable rascal, and he's a very intelligent fellow and I am sure that he will do a first class job of running Badgertown. He was Head Prefect you know, and he did a marvellous job of organising the fags"

Personally I am even more determined to back Noddy Ninety. I cannot believe, at his age, that he has the energy or inclination for these kind of antics.

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1 comment:

  1. oh this is all just too too perfect; thankyou.