Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Radio Badsea

Beaver Hateman has set up a radio station to extol the virtues of the 'get rich quick' culture that he is promulgating for the village.

There is a daily show hosted by two dwarfs called Russ Band and Johnny Woss who fill the airways with Badfort propaganda.

I must say I do not like their cocky attitude. Mister Woss regularly laughs at his own jokes, and interviews himself instead of the guests. Beaver is paying them a fortune (£5 4s 6d every week!) and Mister Woss has claimed that his salary means that he is "worth 1,000 Uncles".

I was supposed to be a guest on their radio programme - an opportunity, I hoped, to bring the village to its senses - but I realised that they intended to turn me into a figure of fun and so decided to go for a long walk along the esplanade instead.

When I came back I was horrified to discover that they had left a message, on my answerphone, that had gone out on air.

"Hi Fatty - stolen any bicycles wecently? How does it feel to be made wedundant? Thank Gawd we got someone sensible in charge now - the gwate Mister Hateman...."

It went on in a similarly insulting way for sometime.

The Old Monkey rang in to complain.

"What is funny about humiliating a lovely old elephant who has never harmed anyone in his life? I can't tell you how much it hurts to know you were so unkind to such a sweet, charitable and benevolent figure."

They just guffawed and giggled.

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